So far I seem to cope, I am not doing a bad job. Being chronically ill can be hard, and trying to accept it as normal even harder. For the New Year it is my resolution to be even more phlegmatic, because there are still ridiculous things that sometimes bug me, while I don’t want to be bugged.
A month ago we bought two new ceramic pans. That is what I want my back to be made off, so silly or even resentful stuff will float down my back like a fried egg that comes from the pan onto the plate! Ha! What about that? I want to be phlegmatic with a capital F, as in my name.
Apart from that I can also be sentimental. Very sentimental when it comes to music. Certain songs are permanent linked with memories, in some cases this can be embarrassing, confusing or even painful. And no matter what time or situation, these musical memories can even give me the creeps when hearing a specific song.
Thankfully, it can also be the other way around. Dead Can Dance is a group I recently discovered and I am loving it. This music makes me forget the real world, my real body and its imperfections (do I have any?!). It gives me the thrilling thought of what I can do. It is all about inspiration, it opens up my believe in possibilities and prospects life may still hold for me. It gives me comfort and this relaxation even increases my ability to think, feel and be phlegmatic. Beneath my imperfections I am full of artistic ideas, the music tells me. And I really want to believe it.
It also makes me shake my butt, that is a good thing as well. At least for five minutes and then I am back on the sofa, happily listening to this motivating, and dreamy music.
For the New Year let us (all creatures, chronically ill or not) think of all the beautiful moments that may lie ahead and forget about silly stuff. You don’t have to emphasize being phlegmatic, I am sure you can find your important subject to try to hang on to. Just think of possibilities and prospects that may include a highlight. Something that makes you smile.
And when thinking you have any imperfections: put on your favorite record and shake your butt.
I wish all of you out there all the best for the New Year. And don’t hold back if you want to share your thoughts regarding this topic or your resolution(s). With love, Flegmatic Fleur
Here you can find the song Rakim by Dead Can Dance.
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This post is also available in: Dutch