My six-year-old self

Have you ever done ballet poses – for instance a grand plié – while waiting at the post office? Or galloped in the streets? In her What I Call Live Show Miranda Hart suggested to give in to your six-year-old self and explore these things.

Her show was broadcasted by the BBC last New Year’s Eve and I recorded it. Yes, I am a bit slow. Add to that: not that used to watching television. Watching TV is hard for me suffering from ME (which is nothing but madness according to my 40-year-old self), for the same reason you will not see me galloping outside, nor doing ballet poses at the post office. Being housebound this long, I can’t even remember the last time I visited a post office.
However, I do vividly remember being at a bank, even if this was years ago. There were sofas in the lounge of the building, so there was no need for a queue. The couple that entered later than we did, went up to the desk when someone else was done. I made it clear that we were there first, but the man and woman simply ignored me. I know, I should have put my foot down. Literally, I should have stomped around the area shouting ‘Rude! Rude! Rude! Rude! Rude,’ like my six-year-old self would have liked.
In the same show Miranda Hart does a curtsy. Even though she did it accidentally, I contemplated doing it on purpose. Wouldn’t it be fun – even if I am the only one laughing – to curtsy when my Mister Darcy arrives home after a day at work? Or when Robson Green is on TV? I suspect one particular friend to do exactly that: bob a curtsy in front of the television when he is on screen. But I cannot imagine her putting one leg in front of the other, bend her knees and dip her head when her partner walks through the door. Neither can I imagine me doing the same to my partner. We feminists, we cannot go bow around to men, of course not! That said, I might do a curtsy when meeting a cat – notwithstanding its gender, just to brighten the animal’s day. Being chronically ill, isn’t that what I need? Do ridiculous things and laugh about it?

Honestly, if you are still wondering whether or not I might be alienated from my six-year-old self, check out the knitted mushrooms in our front garden. A lot of children like them, adults too, but one day a grownup said ‘I see mushrooms,’ using a high-pitched voice full of malicious pleasure. I was resting on the sofa when I heard this and I probably looked perfectly composed, but my six-year-old self was fuming. She was. I should have given in to her. I should have let her get to the front of the house, screaming ‘Rude! Rude! Rude’, and then pounding the window with BOTH her fists.

You can buy and download the What I Call Live Show by Miranda Hart here.

And bonus material by me… last week my personal essay about having ME and being a feminist called Uppity Me: How Laurie Penny’s Latest Book Gave Me Back My Self-Worth was published by The Nopebook! Hip hop hooray! Happy reading!

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This post is also available in: Dutch