Girls just wanna have fun

From time to time, life can be scary. When starting a new job or getting a completely different haircut. That is scary in a good way.
I got myself a new haircut, but that was nothing to be afraid of at all. The butterflies in my stomach I might expect for challenging myself like that were overruled by adrenaline. Adrenaline, because being ill for nine years can be terrifying.

With a delay of about half the time of my life, I finally got my a-symmetric haircut. I was so happy with my Cindy Lauper hairdo, that I wanted to sing ‘girls just wanna have fun.’
But then I got another cold sore, the third within a month and after that I was bugged with a small, but painful infection in my mouth. This is of course on top of my usual symptoms, who are not even worth mentioning. After recovering from those annoyances, I started to get my hopes up again. Unfortunately, the next thing was waiting for me.
A splitting headache, which made light and noise unbearable can be rather dull after a week or so. Or a strain, when painkillers are not working.
For some reason I always believed I would be better at the age of 35. But then I turned 36 and nothing had happened. I made it my goal to beat the well known Dutch author Renate Dorrestein, who recovered from M.E. after ten years. Recently I turned 37 and I am still ill. And the countdown to that mark of ten years is approaching at the horizon.
I do not have the courage to say that thankfully, almost two weeks since the misery of my migraine started, I am able to put this in writing and share it with you. That is because adrenaline and worries pop their head up from time to time.

I don’t want to be scared. I want to be a girl, a girl having fun.

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This post is also available in: Dutch

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